By Mark Grace, CCCNZ Ambassador
Psalm 139:23
"Tirohia iho ahau, e te Atua, kia matau hoki koe ki toku ngakau: whakamatautauria ahau, kia matau hoki koe ki oku whakaaro."
"Le Atua e, ia e suesue mai ia te au, ma ia e silafia lo‘u loto; tofotofo mai ia ia te au, ma ia e silafia o‘u manatunatu."
"Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts."
In Psalm 139, David is anxious. All through the psalm, he seeks to quiet his worries.
Verses 19-24 expose the underlying questions being answered in this psalm.
Throughout his life David has seen God work in incredible ways, but in the depths of anxiety, he needs to be reminded.
"God, do you know me?"
It's as if God says to David, and to us, "I’ve investigated you and I know you. I’ve gone through your life, your family and your work, I’ve gone through your friendship networks, and your Google history. I’ve gone through your phone. I know you. I know you better than you do".
"God, are you near me?"
David depicts God saying, "I’m here, my Spirit is here. You cannot outrun my presence. If you go into the heavens I’m there, and if you go into the depths I’m there. I’m here at the beginning of your day, and I’m here in the darkest night".
David recognises that God knows him and God is near him.
"God, are you holding me?"
"I was holding you when I creating your soul, your personality, your essence. I was holding you when I was making you in your mother’s womb. I am the creator of the cosmos and I made you, David. I hold your days. I’ve prepared all the days of your life before you've lived even one. I know the days of your life from beginning to end".
"God, will you protect me?"
In this psalm, we don't get to see the resolution to David's anguish. Still, we know from the books of Samuel and Chronicles that ultimately, God delivers him. God never lets David down.
But for us, our deliverance is even more plainly seen in the cross of Jesus Christ.
For us, the answer to these questions—God, do you know me? Are you near me? Are you holding me? Will you protect me?—is found in the death and resurrection of Jesus.
God quiets our deepest anxieties through the cross of Christ.
Jesus knows our weakness, and willingly faces death.
Jesus shows he is near us, by taking our sin upon himself.
Jesus displays his love for us, laying down his life.
Jesus' victory protects us and he is with us.
At the cross, we hear Christ say definitively: I know you. I am near you. I am holding you. I will protect you.
